The Rendering Ninja

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This blog is about to get huge. REAL huge.

For those of you that aren't aware, my computer was fried a couple weeks ago and I've been stuck on this crap laptop since. So what am I doing about this computer situation I'm in? Well here's the plan:

1.) Rape and pillage a small town in southern California.
2.) Sell all the assets to China.
3.) Lose 99.999% of profits through customs and shipping.
4.) End up with 5 dollars, which puts my checking account up to negative $171.00
5.) Endure embarassing media attention for the disaster.
6.) Steal a new computer.

What would I need in a new system you ask? I would wait till Augest for the Opteorn Socket F's. Here's the current A-list:

CPU -> 2.8 or 3.0 ghz equivelant dual core Opteron Socket F. Socket F will not be much faster than current CPU's, but they will be upgradable to quad core processors and better memory. In theory that would keep my computer around for 3 more years without a complete overhaul.
RAM -> 16gb of 667mhz DDR2, with ECC. This much RAM is required because my renders require two things they didn't a year ago: hair and high resolution. With this much RAM I will be able to render everyhting I make as a print!
HD'S -> Two SAS drives in raid 0 for main OS, and four 500 or 750 GB drives for storage and general use. The purpose of seperating the OS and the data is so that I can clean install the OS if it ever become damaged without ever losing needed data.
VIDEO -> A good but not ridiculous video card, a 7900GT perhaps. Any more spent on video car dis money better spent on other parts, like RAM or CPU.
MONITOR -> Hopefully a 24 or 30 inch screen, but most likely 24. Samsung is coming out with new ones to compete with Dell and Apples amazing new screens, so they will bring the prices down.

With a system like that I should be able to render anything I've ever done more than 2 or 3 times as fast as I could before. And not only that, it would cut out all my crashing problems resulting from needing higher quality images with hair/fur, detailed lighting, etc. So not only will it be much faster, but I'll simply be more physically capable of things I couldn't do before. I could render a print of Technical Imperfection, Hard Boiled Scrambler, or Love Juice.

I miss making renders like those. I hate this laptop. I want to be free of this problem that wasn't even my fault to begin with.

So you can see why I would pretty much kill for a system like that now, right?

Does anyone know any rich friends? Anyone who likes digital art and runs a big advertising company? Anyone who knows someone who would sponsor a loser like me? Cause I'll totally pimp out your company if you want. This blog WILL get popular, and I can guarantee that.

Please for the love of God let there be some rich person out there who likes me.

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.

If you are from DeviantART, then you are reading this instead of something on DeviantART. Durr Hurr!! Idiot.

This is mah website I'm setting up. If anyone has any experience in CSS coding, particualrly for this crazy ass Movable Type shit, let me know.

Delya and I will be posting works in progress here. Along with other things I can't post on DeviantART, such as more adult-oriented renders, or rants about people or just things that aren't appropriate there.

ON WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING SHOW

Did you just grab my ass?